Did you know that foreigners who want to live in Britain have to pass a government test to get in?

And some of the questions are harder than "why does everyone hate Manchester United?"

So the Have I Got News For You team have, in a moving and totally out-of-character display of public-spiritedness, compiled this Guide to Modern Britain. It will help you understand exactly how the most ingenious, resilient, resourceful and proudest people on earth became the Twittering, Touchy-fearing wimps that they are today.